Don’t Let Corporate Jargon Infect Your Ad Copy
Recently a LinkedIn connection shared a photo she’d taken of an ad at the airport. I don’t want to ID the company, so let’s just say it read something like this: “We think digital business solutions empower employees and improve collaborative teamwork.” Not being quite sure what the message was supposed to mean, I looked up the business and found that it is a provider of fiber-based digital communication technologies. In other words, its product and services help employees connect with each other and work together using phones, email, the Internet, etc. Why so much jargon to say something so simple?
Anyone who’s ever worked in an office understands the scourge of corporate jargon. I used to have a homemade Bingo card that I’d surreptitiously keep by my side during phone conferences with squares like “synergy,” “bandwidth,” and “drill down.” People like to use corporate jargon because it makes simple things complicated, and they think that makes them sound smart. But there’s nothing smart about making your listeners scramble to translate your words into plain English or make their best guess about what you mean.
It’s one thing when the jargon is flying fast and furious in a meeting or is used in long-form B2B marketing content. It’s another when it makes its way into ads and other bite-size copy. I suppose the company in my example thought it was connecting by speaking the language of its audience: corporate IT managers and the like. And maybe it is reaching this very specific audience. But all I could think reading that ad was how airless and sterile it sounded. It is the advertising equivalent of an office cubicle. And we all know how inspiring those are.
Good copy connects with readers on an emotional level, which means it has to sound human. Jargon never sounds human. Jargon sounds like a bunch of office workers got together in a windowless conference room and pounded all of the feeling out of every single word until the message was as flat as three-day-old soda. I’ve spent many an hour revising mission statements rendered lifeless after too many rounds of editing by committee.
I’d argue that for something like the aforementioned ad — something that’s meant to be viewed quickly and to trigger a reaction — less copy with an image would have been better: the idea of “show, don’t tell.” Nike’s catchphrase “Just Do It” famously got to the heart of what the company was selling — not so much shoes and athleticwear but athleticism and the desire to push oneself physically.
So how could our anonymous company improve its ad? My suggestion would be to hone in on the simplest benefits of what it is selling: Happier employees. Flexibility. Speed. Creativity. Remote work options. Don’t those sound more exciting than “digital business solutions”? Feel free to contact me, Anonymous Company. My fees are reasonable.
